Dips in performance, tough conversations, wellbeing concerns – we show up instantly.
But when it’s us?
We’re often slower. Harsher. Less kind.
If that sounds familiar, here’s a simple reset inspired by the work of Graham Lee‘s ‘Self-Compassion Break’ you can use when you need it:
- Accept it happened
‘The presentation flopped’
‘You avoided the difficult conversation’
‘You didn’t speak up’
It happened. Don’t overanalyse it.
If you want, give yourself a window – what Paul McGee Helping People Thrive Through Change calls “Hippo Time” – a little wallow in the mud to feel it. Put a time to it – 60 seconds. 5 minutes. Then move.
Now ask…
What am I saying to myself right now?
“I’m a failure” or “That didn’t go too well”
“That was a disaster” or “What can I improve?”
“I messed up” or “What will I do differently next time?”
- Depersonalise the setback
Acknowledge that this is a moment of discomfort. Getting things wrong is not a weakness – it’s an essential part of how competence is built. This is part of being human. We’re all at it.
Most importantly – It’s not who you are. It’s just what happened.
- Step back & observe your thoughts
There’s always a gap between what you experienced & your reaction.
Use it.
Ask yourself, “What do I need to hear right now?”
Or, if that feels too much…
“What would I say to a colleague in this situation? “ Then give yourself that same self-compassion.
There you go – you’re not ‘fixed’- because you weren’t broken.
This is about creating space for self-compassion so you can move forward, not spiral. In a world that feels very heavy for all of us right now, this is how you can start showing up for yourself.
If you want to spend less time ruminating & more time moving forward then get in touch at rupert@strongerhumans.com for a free 30-minute conversation to understand how I can support you thrive at work.
#strongerhumans
